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Friday, April 6th, 2007
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2:12 pm - Friends-Only
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I really hate to be doing this, as I am the one of the few people on this planet who normally do not do this. But this journal will now be friends-only. This isn't too much of a change, as I know that no one new is going to be adding me, persay.
current mood: angry
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(give me an answer)
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| Saturday, May 7th, 2005
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4:22 pm
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So, I graduated, and as I figured, it was not any sort of wonderful feeling. I skipped the dumb ceremony, and the best part is I have to work all of tonight. Hurray. I am at a complete loss as to why I went to LHU for school. This place was so worthless. I actually went 5 years through this place, and pretty much made only one friend, the girl I am with. Everyone else I even met, didn't seem to want to talk to me for too long. So this is a big "fuck you" to all those wonderful people.
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(9 answers | give me an answer)
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| Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
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5:56 pm
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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4:16 am
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So I have been paying attention to the interests of both guys and girls in music. Now mind you, I only have surveyed Americans, as they make up most of the internet people I can talk to, so music genres range from Pop to Hardcore....ignoring classical, arabic, (other cultures for the most part). But one thing girls and guys have in common is that the majority of them like bands or singers that are guys. When it comes to liking girls....think Boobsy Spears or Destiny's Whore. So what do we have to learn from this venture? Girls apparently are worth crap in music, unless they show some cleavage, of course. Any thoughts?
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(8 answers | give me an answer)
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| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
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4:14 am
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This is somewhat of a rarity, so, since I found these lyrics....sometimes I feel like this:
I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
one hundred percentile
no errors, no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
don't worry 'bout dreaming
because I don't sleep
I wish I could at least 30 percent
maybe 50 for pleasure
then skip all the rest
if I only was more human
I would count every single second the rest of my life
if I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife
I'd roll around the mud
and have lots of fun
then when I was done
build bubblebath towers and swim in the tub
sand castles on the beach
frolic in the sea
get a broken knee
be scared of the dark and I'd sing out of key
cuss when I lost a fight
kiss and reunite
scratch a spider bite
be happy with wrinkles I got when I smiled
pet kittens til they purred
maybe keep a bird
always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies
I'd laugh til it hurt
I'd buy a big bike
and ride by the lake
and I'd have lots of friends
and I'd stay out late
if I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
if only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life
would I care and be forgiving?
would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
would I doubt and have misgivings?
would I cause someone sorrow, too?
would I know what to do?
will I cry when it's all over?
when I die will I see heaven
I realize I am human, but rarely do I show it...
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(2 answers | give me an answer)
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| Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
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1:36 pm
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| Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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5:33 pm
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3:50 pm
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After hearing so much about the Schiavo case, I am finally glad its ended and I won't have to hear people interfering with their ideas of whether this girl should live or not. No one really truly cared about her, they just felt that their input was more valuable than the rest of the people's opinion (except those who agreed). The entire government had to get involved as well, making the entire thing sickening. I get the feeling that this entire country is going insane, and have nothing better to do than comment on some woman's life. Ugh.
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(1 answer | give me an answer)
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| Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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4:22 am
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Unfortunately, I have to say: the world is filled with people who are obsessed with some one thing or set of things. Why? Why do humans obsess so easily over things? I don't get it. I know I have obsessed over "things" (people) in the past, but, it never lasted long. Which leaves me outside of it all to feel like some rock braced against a never-ending tide of the same waves over and over. I doubt I will be swept away, and I wonder if I will break or outlive the waves. More and more everyday, I seriously feel tempted to want to end the human race. But then I look around. Could any one person actually accomplish that? That leaves me fated to live here or die. I still have the option of disappearing into the wilds, but can that last? And on another note, I still need a good way to save this entire journal in an organized fashion.
current mood: .....
current music: Coheed - 03 Cuts Marked In The March of Men
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(6 answers | give me an answer)
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| Monday, January 31st, 2005
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2:12 pm
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| Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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3:59 am
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| Friday, November 5th, 2004
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1:50 am
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| Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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10:40 pm
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So voting was today, one of the most worthless rights we have. Yup, and here is what the smartest adults have to say about it:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041103/ap_on_el_pr/eln_young_voters_1
*IMPORTANT* Read the message boards for more inanity.
I love it.... I fucking love it. So, I will make it simple for the lot of you who don't understand on why we dont vote. If you don't get why voting is NOT a right after this, then I feel sorry for you.
Example:
Candidate A: Will screw us over every which way
Candidate B: Will screw us over every which way
Candidate C: Will screw us over every which way
Now, who do we vote for? A, B, or C? Hmmm, such wonderful choices...! What was that about our rights again? See, I don't care that each of the candidates says they stand for what we believe in. No matter who wins, the overall economy will stay the same. Need further proof? Take a look at the last 200+ years of American history.....and then take a look at the graphs that define the rich and poor values adjusted to inflation. "The rich get richer, the poor get poorer". Then take a look at one thing every president 'cept for a few has in common: All of them are rich, old, white males. Let me guess though, this is just a fucking coincidence, right? Yeah, and voting makes all the difference! Ha ha, sure sure, and Santa Clause is coming over tonight to give me Rudolph for my x-mas dinner. Yeah, not fucking likely. Voting as always = waste of time!
current music: So very, very sardonic...
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(3 answers | give me an answer)
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| Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
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11:18 pm
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Ok, I know I must be severely bored if I am doing something I hate:
(bold means it's true)
01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I love ice cream
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse sometimes
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I am very smart
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I dislike people.
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now
27. I love sushi
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty ugly...
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
48. I have a lot of friends
49. I am currently single [sigh]
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgeous and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my Xanga, LiveJournal or DeadJournal
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington uh, what?
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I hate MTV
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama theatre
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my fingernails. only when it breaks though..
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube?s newest "Friday" movie
80. I am shy around the opposite sex sometimes....
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend?s significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal
87. When I was a kid I played doctor with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend?s ex
99. I like surveys
100. I am happy at this moment
101. I'm obsessed with guys/chicks
102. I am bi
103. Democrat
104. Conservative Republican
105. I refuse to be tied to either major political party
106. I am a punk dude, I'm just different.
107. I am preppy
108. I am a hippy
109. I tie my shoelaces differently to anyone I've ever met
110. Once I fall for someone, I don't get over them
111. I've been the life of a party
112. I have a symbol tied to my identity
113. I never grew out of "Pretend you are a..." games
114. I have lived on a commune
116. I have taken antidepressants before
117. I can sing
118. Sometimes, I want to be tied up
119. I go for older guys/girls, not younger!!!!
120. I study for tests most of the time
121. I love the wind
122. I love thunder
123. I have a plan for retirement that does not involve the lottery death makes the best retirement...
125. I have a current will to eventually be changed...
127. I am confused as to what I want out of life.
128. I believe in after death communication
129. I'm happy with my choices in life
130. I love spending time with people close to me the few that even exist...
131. I love summer time and would move to anywhere where it's summer all the time
132. I am gay
134. I am a college student unfortunately
136. I think reality TV shows are stupid
137. I have at least one tattoo
138. I rarely eat 3 meals a day.
139. I honestly prefer milk over every other beverage
140. I am supposed to be doing homework right now
141. I am in love in love, love someone, its all the same unless you feel like making up your own definitions
142. I recently cried.
143. I wish I could say what's on my mind
144. My favorite magazine is Cosmopolitan.
145. I do karoke willingly and sober
146. I am a superhero.
148. I go through fierce bouts of jealousy, in all aspects in my life.
149. I love the smell of fall.
150. I love making my friends smile
151. I like the taste of blood (muhaha.)
152. My favorite smell is a wood fireplace
153. I will travel hundreds of miles to a place that I dislike to be with someone I love
154. I have been engaged
155. Only those closest to me will ever know what I am truly thinking or feeling no one will ever truly see my mind...
156. I'm making many active efforts to fix my faults and get out of cycles and ruts that I've spent years in
157. I am a gamer
158. I'm evil. evil does not exist
160. I often feel like, no matter how hard I try, I never do enough to please anyone.
162. I love indie films
I took some out, because they were incredibly dumb.
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(2 answers | give me an answer)
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| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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5:00 pm
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Sex vs. thinking. Key words here.
Looking at it, people that fuck all the time, tend to not think as much as those who have sex less, or are trying to think less. Thinking can be exhausting when overdone, hence also why those people do drugs. Balance. It all comes back to balance between the two, which is why so many are unhappy....
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(2 answers | give me an answer)
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4:20 pm
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| Monday, August 23rd, 2004
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2:11 am
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I have noticed that a lot of the world has a "teasing" attitude. Take people's baiting one another in an insulting manner, for instance. We allow verbal insulting to be a large part of our conversations. This baits other people to attack us. If I insult Mr. Randomman in a certain way pertaining to his mother, there is always the chance that he will physically attack me. However, the penalty of law is very harsh on any dispute of this kind. Now, in this particular case, the guy could simply turn me in on grounds of harrasment. Funny though, how few people do that eh? Especially for guys. That works upon an unwritten rule that not violently solving it is taking the coward's approach. Yet some people seem to agree with this coward's approach, because the law exists. So what is the true path of approach then, the coward's or the illegal one? The answer becomes neither, for without the law, the law to kill would likely become even more pointless as people's violent natures are less contained. But with it, people are faced with a dilemma, for inevitably they will lose in some way. Can either be the lesser of two evils? Certainly, to hold back violence can be a good thing, yet it would be foolish to say that other people's opinions truly have no effect on the human psyche. There really isn't an answer to this, unless the bounds of our world change to something else. I simply thought it would be amusing to note one of the many impossible dilemmas affecting people. This particular "tease" is present in other forms, from the violence to sexuality and business routine. For any people who read this, I am sure if you think about it, you will get where these "teasing" situations are found.
current mood: sore
current music: Vanessa Carlton - Pretty Baby
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(2 answers | give me an answer)
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| Saturday, August 21st, 2004
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4:17 am
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Sometimes I think we don't need anyone else in the world besides us...but then again who would we talk about?
(Old quote of mine I found)
This weekend is turning out to be a good one.
current mood: neutral
current music: Silence
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(4 answers | give me an answer)
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| Friday, August 13th, 2004
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5:24 am
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I am getting rid of this journal. I'm not quite sure when, as I wanted to save the entries I made, and possibly a few sets of comments. I have realized something: the internet is breaking my life down, piece by piece. How easy it has been to avoid everything through sitting on this damned computer. How easy to pretend that I have friends. I sometimes wonder if the people I talk to online even like me all. It's hard to tell online, when you don't meet people's expectations offline ever. Yeah, I will admit it. I have been ignored, abused, hated, and so on by generally all people, including my own family. I could say I don't care either, and part of me doesn't, but the rest of me? If one day I woke up and I had the power to kill by thought alone....besides the normal animals, not a human being would be left on this planet. I don't blame them, and I have said it before, I would rather just see it all cleansed. Can anything less be expected? You kick your friendly dog enough, and it will eventually bite you. Human nature, and only a few parts of me are in exception of that.
I am not about to kill myself yet. But at the same time, I am debating running. Do I really want a normal life? I could probably be happy roaming the African savannah or even perhaps stalking the South American jungle. I don't know, and I am not sure how much more I will put up with before I turn from this most hateful of nations and disappear. But for now, I am reducing my presence online. I'm not wanted on here either, and I think the particular path in life that has been chosen for me is rearing its head once more.
Oh yeah, cleaned my friend's list again. Those of you who actually read my journal, are still on the list. Those of you who don't read my journal, well, I guess I should stop addressing no one.
current mood: Tormented
current music: Silence...
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(21 answers | give me an answer)
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| Monday, August 9th, 2004
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3:06 am
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I went hiking today. I realized that PA hiking is about as fun as beating oneself with a stick (not speaking sado-masochistically either). Though Lauren complained about the hiking every 5 min or so, it was vigorous, and I am glad I went. I have sat in this cursed chair for far too long, and I doubt it's good for my back as well. I keep thinking things will be much different when I get to Cali, but then I get constant reminders of the world outside of my house and realize I have no desire to be part of it. I talked to my friend Gina about that today. She was having similar issues. It comes down to having some sort of common bond with people, and I never seem to have any. I am starting to wonder if I can have something in common with people...
current mood: nothing
current music: nothing
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(8 answers | give me an answer)
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